My kids and I had a rare morning at home without Casey, rare since quarantine started that is. I had planned out a walk early in the day at the park near our house, hoping to be able to get some exercise and some time out of the house before the day got too hot. Armed with a jogging stroller, a sturdy rosary, and a new episode of my favorite podcast, I was prepared to multitask to my heart’s content. Those plans and preparations were blessedly blown to bits.
On the walk, my children wanted to constantly talk and ask questions, one of the beautiful hallmarks of youth: curiosity. Their questions caused me to set aside all of my to-do lists and unchecked boxes for the day and focus on them. It was a beautiful disruption in my unimaginative plans. Their questions and curiosity brought us through a conversation on racism, hate, forgiveness, love, and the nature of God. For all of my best laid plans going awry, I had a more productive morning than I could have anticipated. I was so thankful for the time to be with my kids and see their hearts and minds through their questions and conversation. I realized in that moment that I was living out my vocation in the best way I could.
Is it important to pray or continue to learn? Obviously, and I still did but I took that present moment to be a mom first. That’s something important because it is my vocation. My vocation is to marriage and motherhood. Both of those aspects are my greatest responsibility and my greatest opportunity for holiness. Through my children, I come to know Christ and His great love. That’s not to say that you won’t encounter Christ through childlessness or singleness or infertility, you will. But all of those are states, vocations that God is calling each of us to in order to bring us more in love with Himself. So I took the moment to just be, to be available and open and receptive to them and to what Christ is teaching me through them.
I wonder how often I miss those opportunities to put aside all of my good deeds and intentions and settle myself in to rest and quiet. Those missed opportunities come with my kids, but in other areas of my life as well. I think about my preparations and plans when I go to visit Jesus in adoration. I take a stack of books, my rosary, some worship music, a podcast, and a notebook to jot down anything that comes to mind during prayer. I allow myself to be so distracted by all of the things that I want to get done that I forget to just be in the presence of the savior of the universe.
I won’t offer solutions or a five step method for recovery, but I believe being cognizant of the need to “do” may be a starting point. It’s a difficult and ongoing issue to be at rest in a time and culture that calls us to constantly be doing and multitasking. But it is what God is calling us to in certain moments of life, “Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28) Let yourself rest in Christ.
The Bapticatholic 